Why losing an inch off your waist may matter far less than gaining years of mobility, connection, and participation while aging.
I have a confession to make.
At not quite six feet tall and over 200 pounds, I’ve come to terms with a few realities. The lower belly is a stubborn tagalong, aging with me. The love handles appear to have signed a long-term lease agreement. And despite decades of effort, I never benched 200 pounds. Somewhere along the way, I accepted that I was not destined to become a fitness sensation. The world will somehow survive this disappointment.
Like many people, I’ve spent time focusing on the numbers. Weight, waist size, cholesterol, and blood pressure. Repetitive workouts, miles walked. Golf scores that resemble area codes. Those measurements matter (a little), but the older I get, the more I realize they are not the objective. They are indicators, not destinations along the path of aging.
The destination is something much larger.
Time is the most expensive resource any of us possesses. Money gets all the attention because it is easy to count. We can track investments, savings accounts, and retirement balances down to the penny. Time works differently. We spend it whether we realize it or not. We cannot save it, borrow it, refinance it, or earn more of it. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Every day is a withdrawal from an account that never receives any further deposits.
The military taught me many lessons, some more useful than others. I still question whether the tenth safety brief of the week was truly the difference between success and catastrophe, but I understand the purpose now. Repetition creates competence. Competence creates confidence. Confidence creates capability. Aging without capability is not a desired outcome.
There is a reason emergency responders, pilots, military units, and medical professionals practice the same things repeatedly. When something goes wrong, there is no time to wonder where the tourniquet is stored, no time to search for the EpiPen. There is no time to develop a detailed strategic plan complete with PowerPoint slides and stakeholder engagement sessions. One of the strangest things about high-stress situations is that everything seems to slow down while simultaneously moving far too fast. People who have experienced emergencies often describe the same phenomenon. Every detail becomes crystal clear, yet there is no extra time available. Fear tends to occur before and after the event. During the event, there is usually a job to do.
That lesson extends far beyond emergencies. The habits we build today become the capabilities we rely on tomorrow. The future version of ourselves is largely built through boring, repetitive actions that nobody posts about on social media because they aren’t particularly exciting.
Take a walk.
Get some sleep.
Eat reasonably well.
Lift something heavier than the television remote.
Repeat.
Not exactly the material of blockbuster movies.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that fitness isn’t really about appearance. At least not primarily. Fitness is about participation. I want to drive my own car at 80. I want to walk a golf course without feeling like I need a pickup before the 7th hole. I want to travel, explore museums, wander historic cities, and spend far too much time reading plaques that everyone else walks right past. Healthy aging, a healthspan, is the goal.
Most of all, if I’m fortunate enough to have grandchildren someday, I want to watch them play baseball. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I don’t just want to watch them play baseball. I want to have a catch afterward. That’s the difference. I don’t want to remain in the bleachers because I have to. I want to walk onto the grass and say, “Grab your glove.”
When viewed through that lens, health becomes something different. Losing a few pounds, walking more, improving mobility, strength training, and making better food choices stop being acts of vanity. They become acts of stewardship. We are taking care of the machine because we still have places we want to go and people we want to spend time with.
If I lose one inch around my waist over the next year, that would be great. If I lose two inches, even better. But if I lose only one inch while experiencing less pain, sleeping better, playing better golf, enjoying more time with friends and family, and maintaining the ability to do the things I enjoy, I would consider that an unmitigated success.
The inch is not the victory. The life that comes with it is. When I think about healthy aging, I don’t picture a fitness magazine cover. I picture an afternoon in Italy.
Imagine walking into a small café in Siena or Florence at 90 years old. You set down a cane that is more of a classy accoutrement than a necessity. You order a coffee and a Moretti. You probably don’t finish the beer. The coffee gets cold because you’re talking too much. Your Italian is questionable. Their English is equally suspect. Yet somehow everyone understands each other perfectly.
Stories are exchanged. History is debated. Someone argues about soccer. You explain why baseball is superior. They insist you are wrong. Everyone laughs anyway.
That image has become my personal test. Not, “How much can I bench?” Not, “What do I weigh?” Not even, “How many inches are around my waist?” Instead, I ask, “Am I making decisions today that increase the likelihood of that afternoon becoming reality?”
There is one final piece to this picture.
Imagine a 50-year-old walking into that same café and seeing the 90-year-old at the table. He is still curious. Still engaged. Still mobile. Still participating in life. The older man doesn’t give a lecture about fitness. He doesn’t discuss protein intake, calorie deficits, or the latest miracle supplement that promises eternal youth and probably delivers expensive urine.
He simply lives. And maybe the younger person leaves inspired. Perhaps they decide to take a walk, or finally book the trip they’ve been postponing. Maybe they lose a few pounds, maybe they call an old friend.
The best leaders often teach without teaching. They demonstrate what is possible.
I don’t need to look like a movie star. I don’t need to shoot my age in golf. I don’t even mind carrying a cane someday. I would simply prefer that the cane be optional and stylish rather than mandatory and frustrating.
My goal is not perfection, it is participation. I want to remain curious, mobile, and engaged. I want to continue learning, teaching, writing, traveling, mentoring, laughing, and spending time with the people I care about.
The goal is not to avoid aging, it is to age well. And if that journey happens to include a smaller waist, a better-fitting polo shirt, and the occasional compliment along the way, I am willing to make that sacrifice.